Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Sean Bell

The United States is steadily declining into a horrible place in more ways than I could list in an hour. Please don't argue with me on this one. Rawkus & Phonte (Little Brother) hit this one right on the head. My father wasn't abusive but I think in a way I understand how it feels when the person who is supposed to help you, protect you and set a good example, does the opposite. Large portions of our government, our judicial/law enforcement system and our media opress, misinform, exploit and abuse the very people whose prosperity it depends on. Citizens are the building blocks of this nation and they insist on keeping those building blocks as weak as possible. No wonder our house is falling down.



Read about the case.


Monday, April 21, 2008

SOULTRON

Earlier this month I kicked off a monthly funk/soul party. It's called "Soultron". I recorded portions of the night. Big shout out to SCION for sponsoring April. Future sponsors include SCION, Flud Watches, Evanshotya.com and Frank151. Peep the photos at evanshotya.com

These are Zshare links.
Chill Set
Upbeat Set


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Zimmie & Nugget on SCION Radio

On our recent West Coast mini-tour we did a guest spot on Scion RADIO. Our homie DJ Haul (Haul & Mason MySpace) hosts Channel 6 - Kitchen Sink Radio. We did a set on the 1's & 2's and had an interview. Give it a listen. HEAD'S UP! It's a streaming loop. If you tune in and don't catch us, keep listening, you'll get it.

Scion RADIO 17 - Kitchen Sink w/ DJ Haul

Friday, April 11, 2008

Special Olympics Freestyle Battle

When I first watched this I had a few possible outcomes in mind:

1. One or both of these kids is going to be insanely ill on the mic.
2. Both of these kids are going to be insanely terrible on the mic.

Instead I got a third option and I pissed in my pants laughing.



Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Yes You!

Everyone in all of these photos can all go fuck themselves.

Dark Meat @ SXSW

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Take it easy, dogg

Apparently, Blackula is an outdoorsy type of ninja.

Monday, March 17, 2008

My Hero

Tracy Morgan - Wasted on tv.



Whew...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Knockers

I almost shit myself when he talked about the TVs.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Hipster DJs

Attention:

YOU SUCK!


This picture was taken at SXSW. I won't diss the blog I got it from by naming it. What's wrong with this picture?

HOW THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS DJING?

On one turntable you have a laptop. On the other turntable you have a stuffed animal. The other guy is mixing up a can of beer. That douche isn't even wearing headphones, so let's say he isn't a DJ and just a guy who thinks that wearing a polo with an hoodie that has a fast food step-and-repeat is cool. Are you just playing some tracks from iTunes? Are you using some software that auto-mixes? Are you checking your MySpace?

When I see you DJing, it better sound like a party and you better be sweating cuz you're working really hard. I don't want to see 9 people with American Apparel (read previous post) all giggling around a mixer and 234 laptops. "YAY. DJing is fun! This picture will be on a BLOG! I'm so trill!"

Fuck you.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

American Apparel

I'm done with American Apparel. I've inserted various songs in this post that are the complete OPPOSITE of American Apparel. Download and/or play any/all of them while you read so that you don't start wearing zebra tights and listening to Steve Aoki.



1. THE CLOTHES

-I'm really happy that you guys pay your workers a good wage, provide healthcare, wish to legalize immigration in LA, blah blah blah. The bottom line is, your clothes suck my cock.

-HOODIES
-There's nothing like paying $49 for a blank hoodie in my size (XXL), getting it home, washing it in cold water and hang drying it so it doesn't shrink and then being left with a MEDIUM that I can't wear. I think I'd have to buy a 5XL to get my actual size. I have the same body type as this guy, as I'm sure you do, which is why AA hoodies are the bestest.

Also, when I buy a an American Apparel hoodie, it's soft as a baby's ass and wrinkle free. After 1 was I have a garment made out of a material that resembles maple leaves. This actually doesn't bother me because I carry an ironing board and iron out with me. I enjoy having a seatbelt wrinkle in the club.

-T-SHIRTS
-I also enjoy a t-shirt that's 9 feet long with sleeves that are 2 inches long. That's how I'm built, I don't know about you. I'm actually a salamander. I have no muscle in my arms.

The awesome American Apparel shrink factor applies to these as well. It's a shame that not all of my suppliers stock other brands so sometimes I have to print on your shirts.

-UNDERWEAR
-Who wears boxers? Not me! Nobody does. I wear briefs with a dickhole so that I can look like a 5 year old when I get with the ladies. They love that shit. Why not just print Spiderman on them? You guys rant and rave about your cotton, make some of it into boxers. I'd even probably check out boxer-briefs. I'd probably even check out your briefs if they weren't cut for Ken dolls and in colors that Boy George rocks.




2. THE STORE
-Do you guys even hire humans?

This post actually falls short of where I think it should be because I don't have any photos of actual AA staff. They may not even photograph, for all I know.

I love it when I walk into the store and I get a huge dose of the condescending "I can't believe you shower and your clothes match" hipster Haterade. It's like I'm automatically a fuck because I have goals or something. I might as well be Johnny Footballhero.

Then I get to ask questions which means that they're obviously smarter than I am or some shit. I'm sorry I don't understand the subtle variations in the cut of your 28 styles of the same t-shirt. I'm not even sure how I navigated to your mecca of clothing this afternoon without getting lost.




3. MARKETING

-If the previous post didn't give you an indication about my attitude towards your staff, how about you turn the knife by putting them in your ads.

CAUTION:
STOP READING IF YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE A BONER AGAIN




Makes me want to buy clothes.



Makes me want to buy more clothes.

Nothing like a billboard of a big hipster ass or some hairy armpits or a guy in tights to make me want to pop in for a unitard.



4. IRONY
-I haven't tried any of your other awesome products but I'm sure they're just as rad as the ones I have. Let's be fucking real here with this shit:

Safely holds your Sony Walkman cassette player

Safely holds your Sony Walkman hipster boner

Looks like a Christmas present that I don't want

It's the adventures of SUPER HIPSTERRRRRR

For those times when you want to walk around after a shower but still have your hog hanging out

Dieter

Dieter (lounge version)

Cocaine

Yep, I'm impotent now

These glasses enable you to see into 1986

I might not recover from writing this post.