WNBA = The Fucking Worst

Watching the Women's NBA is like watching the Playboy channel. You lie to yourself and think you're going to see something cool, but just as soon as it's supposed to go in, NOTHING! (Obviously it's worse because there's Playmates on the Playboy channel). The highest scoring WNBA game ever ended with a score of 23-41. That's like 2 baskets per year. There's no dunking, no faking, and of course the worst part....NO SWATTING. If I were had a genie, I would use one of my wishes to be a professional basketball player. I wouldn't want to score 50 points a game, just have 900 swats. Every time someone shoots, I let them get really excited for a split second, then I leap 12 feet in the air and blast the ball directly into a teenage girl's nose. I'm talking 2 hand stuffs against the backboard, hitting the rock back into shooters faces, grabbing potential dunks and just slamming players on their ass.

Next time the WNBA is on at a bar near you, put ACID in your beer and maybe you'll have the hallucination of an exciting game.

P.S. I'm pretty sure that the worst, most benchsittingest player from the NBA could beat the best "I'm a spokesperson for K Swiss basketball shoes" player from the WNBA in a game of 1 on 1, 11-0.

Shout out to Tara.

Kurtis Blow - Basketball

WHAT'S REALLY HOOD, BITCH?!?

This never gets old.

For Sale

She don't need a hook, she needs a salad.

Heavy Vee - "I Don't Need A Hook"

Mega Robot Suit

This kid rules. He's saving for college. Good thing too, he spelled it "collage". (Shout out to Tara)

Mega Robot Suit on eBay

Kool Keith - I'm Seein' Robots

Austin. Austin Massachusetts.

I hate the holidays. (this is a late posting) Between 4 billion DJ gigs and all the people who buttress their relationships by buying people shit they don't need, I was ready for a break. Thanks to the fantastic people at Southwest Airlines and Priceline.com, I was able to go to Austin for mad cheap with my friend Kara and get my chill on.

Listen to this fantastic track while you browse my amazing photos...

Stevie Ray Vaughan - Riviera Paradise

Ha Ha! (Justice Pt. 2)

http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2008/01/justice_show_mo.html


Also, I may be slightly famous...


http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2008/01/united_tradesho.html

STOP.....hobbit time!

Shout out to Tara.

Rapper beef.

Timbaland, 50 Cent and Wyclef have been implicated in a steroids investigation.

NYTimes Full Story

WTF?

My favorite line is, "Ohio's agriculture is based on rain."

DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist

In celebration of me going to see DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist next Friday in Philly, I'm sending out their sets from their first 2 "all 45" tours. This new tour, The Hard Sell, will feature Cali's finest on all 45 RPM records and even the little 3" single joints. (Zip file at the end)

Brainfreeze - Released in 1999


Mix One

* Lamont Johson Quartet - "Thunder Kick" (Trailer to unreleased film)
* The Jules Blattner Group - 2001 - "A Soul Odyssey"
* Fried Chicken - "Funky DJ"
* The Mohawks - "The Champ"
* Reuben Bell - "Superjock"
* Albert King - "Cold Feet"
* Ultimate Force - "I'm Not Playing"
* Eddie Bo and Inez Cheatham - "Lover And A Friend"
* Mack Rice - "Three People In Love"
* The Nu People - "I'd Be Nowhere Today"
* Nu-Sound Express Ltd - "Ain't It Good Enough"
* Mystic Moods - "Cosmic Sea"
* American Gypsy - "Inside Out"
* Odetta - Hit Or Miss
* The Mar-Keys - "Grab This Thing (Part 2)"
* Rusty Bryant - "FireEater"
* Simtec and Wylie - "Bootleggin'" (Part 2)
* Wilbur Bascomb and The Zodiac - "Just A Groove In 'G'"
* Eddie Bo and The Soul Finders - "We're Doin' It (Thang) (Part 2)"
* Rufus Thomas - Sophisticated Sissy
* The Showmen Inc. - "The Tramp (From Funky Broadway)" (Part 1)
* The Original Soul Senders - "Soul Brother Testify (Part 2)"
* Rufus Thomas - "Itch and Scratch (Part I and II)"
* Alvin Cash - "Keep On Dancing (Instrumental")
* Lou Courtney - "Hey Joyce"
* Bummer radio spot

Mix Two

* The Singing Principal - "Women's Lib"
* Salt - "Hung Up"
* The Soul Lifters - "Hot, Funky, and Sweaty"
* Frankie Seay and The Soul Riders - "Soul Food"
* The Interpretations - "Jason Pew Mosso" (Part 1)
* Thunder and Lightning - "Bumpin' Bus Stop"
* Billy Garner - "I Got Some"
* Pleasure Web - "Music Man (Part I and II)"
* Gary Byrd - "Soul Travelin' (The G.B.E.)" (Part I)
* Clifton Chenier and Grandma Gee Gee - "Just Keep On Scratching"
* "W" radio spot
* Marlena Shaw - "California Soul"
* The Vibrettes- "Humpty Dump (Part 1)"
* Eddie Bo - "From This Day On"
* 7-Eleven - "Dance The Slurp"
* Kraftwerk - "Numbers"
* Flash and The Five - "Flash It To The Beat"
* Pearly Queen - "Quit Jivin'"
* Tony Alvon and The Belairs - Sexy Coffee Pot
* Chuck Mangione - "Hill Where The Lord Hides"
* Funka Fize - "No Words"
* Schooly D - "Gucci Time"
* Jurassic 5 - "Unified Rebelution" (A cappella)
* Third Guitar - "Baby Don't Cry"
* Don Pierce - "This Funky Thing"
* Funka Fize - "Because You're Funky"
* The Troubleneck Brothers - "Back To The Hip Hop"
* Stu Gardner - "Devil In A Man"
* Samson and Delilah - "There's A DJ In Your Town"
* Giorgio Moroder - "Tears"
* Tim and Bill - "Someone"

Product Placement - Released in 2001



Tracklisting:

1-01 Oscar Da Grouch I Got Two
1-02 Little Grady Lewis & Soul Smokers Smokin' Soul
1-03 Dennis Coffey And The Detroit Guitar Band A Whole Lot Of Love
1-04 LL Cool J I Need Love
1-05 Eddie Simpson Big Black Funky Slave
1-06 Harold Alexander Mama Soul
1-07 Charlie Whitehead Let's Do It Again (Part 3)
1-08 Cold Grits It's Your Thing
1-09 Backyard Heavies, The Expo '83
1-10 Timmy Thomas Sexy Woman
1-11 Kool & The Gang N.T.
1-12 Freddy Scott (You) Got What I Need
1-13 Bobby & James Purify I'm Your Puppet
1-14 Oceanliners, The Funky Pants
1-15 Thunder, Lightning & Rain Super Funky (Part 1)
1-16 James Brown Talkin' Loud And Sayin' Nothin'
1-17 Unknown Artist Superstition
1-18 National Fuel Gas Distribution Corporation Rappin' With Gas
1-19 CD III Get Tough
1-20 Man Parrish Hip Hop, Be Bop (Don't Stop)
1-21 B-Boys, The Rock The House
1-22 Newcleus Jam On It
1-23 Davy DMX One For The Treble
1-24 Grandmaster Melle Mel Step Off
1-25 Newcleus Destination Earth
1-26 Soul Searchers, The Ashley's Roachclip
1-27 Orange Krush Action
1-28 Pieces Of A Dream Mt. Airy Groove
1-29 Bill Withers Kissin' My Love
1-30 Mandrill Mango Meat
1-31 Jazzy Jeff* A Touch Of Jazz
1-32 Kid 'N' Play Last Night (Instrumental)
1-33 Esther Williams Last Night Changed It All
1-34 James Brown Funky President
1-35 Miami Chicken Yellow
1-36 Johnny Cameron & The Camerons Funky John
1-37 Willie John Ellison You Got To Have Rhythm
1-38 Harvey & The Phenomenals Soul And Sunshine
1-39 Mongo Santamaria Coylude
1-40 Communicators & Black Experience Band The Road
1-41 Dennis Bryant Soul Man
2-01 Lifeforce (2) The Freeze
2-02 Earnest Jackson Funky Black Man
2-03 Little Buck Little Boy Blue
2-04 Dandelion Wine Hot Dog
2-05 Nu-Sound Express, Ltd. One More Time You All
2-06 Nu-Sound Express, Ltd. Keep On Dancin'
2-07 Commodores Keep On Dancin'
2-08 Gerald Wilson California Soul
2-09 Messengers, The California Soul
2-10 Poets, The (5) Fun Buggy
2-11 Union (2) Strike
2-12 New Seekers, The It's The Real Thing
2-13 Ivor Raymonde Orchestra It's The Real Thing
2-14 Basic, The Milk
2-15 Cookie Crew, The Born This Way (Instrumental)
2-16 Larry Sanders Story Of My Love
2-17 Jessie James Move On Out Of My Way
2-18 Yellow Sunshine Yellow Sunshine
2-19 Rodney O & Joe Cooley Cooley High
2-20 Nairobi & Awesome Foursome Funky Soul Makossa (Rap)
2-21 Logic Circuit Motorcross Pt. 2
2-22 Unknown Artist Hell's Belles
2-23 Outcasts, The (2) Loving You Sometimes
2-24 Gran Am Get High
2-25 David McCallum House Of Mirrors

DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist - Brainfreeze & Product Placement (Zipped)

P.S. Big shout out to Cut Chemist who can be seen for 30 seconds as a chemistry teacher in the new movie "Juno".

Let Down

When people have a baby, they commonly say, "I just want my child to be healthy".

It's getting harder and harder for me to talk to fat people and pay attention to what they're saying because I have to block out my constant thought about how and why they got so fat.

Even though you're 30, I bet your parents still want you to be healthy.